Question: I really get sick of my Boyfriend texting me responses when I call him – Why can’t he just call me back??

hiyeeeeee – welcome to the new age missy. Girl 24, emailed complaining of her man’s tendency to respond to her missed calls with texts saying “whats up?” or things of the sort.

Okay – lol – here is the thing, we already knew most men (not to generalize but come on tis true) really don’t like talking on the phone. So what’s man’s best friend aside from a cold brewskie and his tea cup yorkie? (kidding) – THE INVENTION CALLED TEXTING!

Communication is one of those things that most men lack – I personally have to pull teeth to get a full sentence at times when UFC or Football is on. Trust me, we’ve all had “the talk” with our men about this “why don’t you just call me back” nonsense. As much as I hate to say this – give up – lol.  If it really really really bothers you because you just haaaaave to hear his voice – just sit down one day and bring it up like a joke and pull his leg about it a bit then once you break the ice – get into the mushy gushys of how it sorta hurts your feelings that he does not call back -

I’ve given up. PLUS! now, I have proof of things being said! ah ha!  ”be there in 15 minutes” ….. shows up 1 hour later…. I pull my phone out …. “hey you saaaaid 15 minutes” … and so forth, you get the drift.

P.S. Say thank you to technology!!

Question: My girlfriend shows too much cleavage – can I say something?

Guy,28 – claims his girlfriend shows more cleavage than average and it makes him uncomfortable around his guy friends when he notices that all of them are staring at her head lights.

This is a sticky situation , first of all you didn’t say how long you have been dating. Honestly, this makes a big difference because if it’s over the one year mark or so, then you should be comfortable enough with one another that you can successfully approach her and let her know of your feelings. The *key* here is to not impose anything o her, rather let her know how it makes you feel. I know the “cheesy” how it makes you feel remark makes some guys cringe, but truthfully, it’ll get you so far in life if you can just be in touch with that side.

In any case, if this is a girl that you’ve only been dating for a short period of time then you’ll really need to think of whether she’ll take it as you controlling her. “Oh so he’s telling me what I can wear? What’s next?” …. I mean if you really like the girl and you sense that she’s secure enough to handle you bringing up the subject, then by all means do it!

I have been with my guy for about 3 years now and something silly like that wouldn’t bother me if he asked me. I assume he, at this point however, knows I love him enough that even if I did show the tatas every once in a while, that I mean no harm.

She may even be doing it to get your attention or seek more compliments from you! Ahhh grasshopper, the woman’s mind is always thinking.  Good luck and remember to approach it very subtly, should you feel you are in a place in your relationship that you can do so.

Question: Are flowers really necessary for a date?

A guy emailed asking whether to purchase flowers for his date (3rd date) or do girls think it’s cheesy. This is pretty straightforward.

Honestly, it’s not REALLY necessary on the initial dates….but when it comes with a load of thought, then it means so much. Most girls say they don’t even like flowers, I’m guilty of saying that all the time but as soon as my guy gets me some unexpected flowers, it’s like every time I walk past them I remember him.

Trust me, you don’t need to go expensive on flowers, keep it simple, keep it thoughtful.

Question – I’m invited to a black tie gala and I don’t know if going alone is appropriate

A young woman emailed last night asking about gala etiquette. She is invited to a fancy shmacy event and needs to know whether a date is needed. The gala is hosted by the hospital she works for and there will be a band (obviously).  Lets see if we can help her …

Answer – ARE YOU KIDDING ME? UHH  YEA! Go alone! Not only will you meet people there but you may just meet an interesting fellow as well.

The truth is – I do a 50/50 on these things. There are definitely times where it’s better to go with a date or a friend just because the vibe may be more specific to couples or you feel more like people watching than people meeting. That is always OK to do.

In this particular instance – the fact that you work with some of the people attending means they may go solo as well! This will be entertaining since you can hang with them for a bit and if you get bored of seeing their faces you can get out of your comfort zone and meet the hottie who works in ICU.  ;-)

GO! Have fun and be merry! Last time I was invited to an event that included my man’s colleagues, I was bored out of my mind (kinda). The shrimp was good though!

Hope this helps DOCTOR! Now go save lives until the gala!

P.S. My guilty pleasure – standing in a corner and saying “did you see what she was wearing??” :-/

Question – What’s in a Facebook Status?

OK – A female emailed me this morning asking about her love interests Facebook status – “in an open relationship” . She is wondering whether she is stepping on her acquaintance’s toes by “poking” the guy.

The thing about these Facebook statuses – some people just mean to be funny with them. Sure there are the people who are actually married, actually in relationships, or perhaps in an open relationship. You must respect this when you can however, if you notice “sasha” is married to “lucy” and they are actually BFF’s – then obviously you’ll have to use your “noodle” as children’s TV tells us.

I have friends who write “in a relationship” when they really aren’t either because they don’t want annoying people to add them or simply because they are in a relationship! Duh! It’s nothing to get hysteric over. If the guy wrote open relationship – I think you have a right to say “hey, what does that mean”. Then again, some may argue “why is that your business” but the truth is, you’ll have to use that noodle again and distinguish between you as his friend and you as his stalker.

One thing about guys – you don’t want to get on their NO list (usually there is no going back to the YES list unless its for a booty call or something of that nature). Guys are not like girls in that sense…. as soon as your deemed a weirdo, stalker, or jealous then it’s hard to bounce back into their Dateable pile.

Just sayin …. sometimes less is more……

My Facebook status? Nothing. I just don’t care enough about the damn thing.

The guy I work with flirts with me but I have a boyfriend and he’s met him!

Ahem – let me start off by saying – some guys don’t care that you have a boyfriend. It’s an ego thing. Don’t get me started on it but I’ve met my fair share of them.

Now – let’s be clear – you’re not provoking it right? Perhaps not consciously but subconsciously? No need to get all jumpy – just askin.

So if you truly know that you are not doing anything to provoke it and this guy is still being a jerk of jerks – I say go up to him right before you take your lunch and say  ”hey , I may be totally off kilter here, but I kinda get the sense that you’re flirting with me? You do know that I have a boyfriend right? ”  – PAUSE — because he may just say “what are you talking about?” (perhaps he is just a friendly guy who is confused as to why you think he is flirting with you) .

If he is doing it intentionally, he may or may not deny it. All you can do is put it out in the open and tell him that you really love your guy and it makes you uncomfortable that he is sending out these unwanted flirtations.

He may just get the point and stop; hopefully to not cause any more embarrassment for himself. When you go up to a guy say something along the lines of  ”back off” – trust me – it’s embarrassing – you kinda beat the crap out of his ego for like 5 seconds.

The thing is – you can’t hide from it. Face it. You work with him. But what you CAN do is be open and honest about it. If it gets really awkward, you may need to get HR involved but if it’s just a harmless cocky guy who thinks you’ll leave your man for him then I say a light tap on shoulder should do the trick.

I wouldn’t get your BF involved – unless you really really have to – because guy on guy ego aint that pretty.

Question – WTF is a whale tale and how do I get one?

Lady hoohaa (self-proclaimed btw) – emailed asking about whale tales -

Well sweety – ya can’t just go get one. Apparently in a rather tipsy conversation with her boyfriend of 3 years, she found out he has a “whale tale” fetish.

If you don’t know what that is, you’ll just have to google it ( I warn you, some pics you’ll find will be yucky).

Anywhoooo – yes I have heard of many men having this fetish. This is one fetish, Lady hoohaa, that you can’t go and buy. Either you have it or you don’t.

On the bright side – at least you both are getting into that phase of the relationship (even though 3 years is long time to wait) where you are talking about the freaky fetishes. Keep exploring this side with him – you may find out he might have a secret fantasy he wishes to role play with you.

The truth is ladies – guys will always have fetishes – some we can accommodate and some we can’t. No reason to start getting insecure or assuming he is going to “find” someone with a “whale tale” in this instance ~  Who knows – maybe you wish to suck watermelon juice off the abs of Jason Lewis (and your man aint Jason Lewis-ish). These are fantasies and we all have them.

Just allow one another to be comfortable exploring this side. If you make him feel uncomfortable or get mad at him – he won’t share them with you anymore.